


half-eaten kit-kats, a diverse cast, and a whole lot of depressed bitches

by mikronicos



Category: Countries (Anthropomorphic), CountryHumans, Countryhumans (Anthropomorphic) - Fandom
Genre: AFAB France, AFAB Poland, AFAB Ukraine, AMAB Germany, Agender USSR | Soviet Union, Andromantic Russia, Aromantic Asexual Germany, Aromantic Asexual USSR | Soviet Union, Biromantic Asexual Spain, Bisexual European Union, Bisexual Mexico, Demigirl Ukraine, F/M, Gay America, Gay Italy, Gay North Korea, Gay Ukraine, Gay United Nations, Genderfluid France, Group chat, Heteromantic Asexual South Korea, Heterosexual Japan, M/M, Multi, Neopronouns, Non-Binary Germany, Non-Binary Poland, Other, Panromantic Asexual Canada, Panromantic Asexual France, Panromantic Asexual Poland, Pansexual North Atlantic Treaty Organization, Pansexual United Kingdom, Polyamorous America, Polyamorous European Union, Polyamorous Italy, Polyamorous Mexico, Polyamorous North Atlantic Treaty Organization, Polyamorous Russia, Polyamorous Spain, Polyamorous United Nations, Polyqueerplatonic Germany, Quoiromantic Canada, Trans Female Japan, Trans Male America, Trans Male Canada, Trans Male North Atlantic Treaty Organization, Twitter, Twitter Fic, asexual russia, it looks like there's a lot of tags but rlly there's just a lot of characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-22 17:03:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21305519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikronicos/pseuds/mikronicos
Summary: A countryhumans twitter fic. Bear with me, because it honestly didn't seem like that many tags until I wrote it all out lmao.
Relationships: ???, America/Russia&Germany (Countryhumans), America/Russia/Germany (Countryhumans), Canada/??? (Countryhumans), Italy/Mexico/Spain (Countryhumans), South Korea/Japan (Countryhumans), UK/France (Countryhumans), UN/NATO/EU (Countryhumans), a relationship with ame and rus dating romantically, with germany as a qpp
Comments: 12
Kudos: 33





	1. things are revealed and everyone is gay

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [countryhumans chatfic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20057122) by [casualhottubnacho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/casualhottubnacho/pseuds/casualhottubnacho). 

> alright boys buckle up

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

b..boys

Location: with ur mom

36 Following 64 Followers

Not A Communist **@russianroulette**

i hate everything but vodka

Location: your local bar

23 Following 32 Followers

I Banned The Internet **@probablystephen**

nobody likes me :)

Location: fuck you

3 Following 6 Followers

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

my boyf is an adorable tsundere send tweet

Location: not murdering seals

42 Following 182 Followers

Ana Mae And Hen Tye **@definitelynotafurry**

my animation style is why you have random boners

Location: a furry convention

53 Following 36 Followers

beer is my only hobby **@iamnotbacteria**

stop calling me germs i stg **@freedomandunity**

Location: still apologising for my father

46 Following 45 Followers

United Nations **@UN**

The Official Account Of The Anthropomorphic United Nations.

Location: Earth.

198 Following 198 Followers

untitled negligence **@thevoiceofreason**

can yall shut up for one second i stg

Location: fixing ur got damn problems

24 Following 198 Followers

European Union **@EU**

The Official Account Of The Anthropomorphic European Union. 

Location: Europe.

64 Following 87 Followers

still salty uk **@enterusting**

fuck youk

Location: The Himalayas, Because I'm Salty.

22 Following 52 Followers

National Atlantic Treaty Organisation **@NATO**

The Official Account Of The Anthropomorphic National Atlantic Treaty Organisation. 

Location: The North Atlantic Ocean.

126 Following 57 Followers

a sea of fish and fuckwads **@natoyourbusiness**

my flag may be a compass but idk where im going

Location: water

63 Following 43 Followers

Sammer And Hickle **@probablyjay**

my eyepatch is leather and my life is over

Location: mother russia but i'm his dad

15 Following 3 Followers

Mustache Gay™ **@impasta**

i like pizza and boys

Location: marinara land

263 Following 96 Followers

mr steal yo taco **@eatingenchiladas**

ayo you know this boy's got his free taco-

Location: an ocean of respecting women juice

56 Following 67 Followers

Sponsored By K-Pop **@koreanfriedbitches**

im not a furry but **@definitelynotafurry** can get it

Location: boppin

384 Following 89 Followers

I Hate The Number Two **@fuckrectangles**

fuck the binary

Location: praising no lord

46 Following 23 Followers

the hot one **@flamencofucks**

there's more than enough for the both of you, boys

Location: snatchin ur pueblos

197 Following 56 Followers

stressed but not depressed yet **@flowercrowngay**

tired but pastel

Location: sleeping

30 Following 24 Followers

I'm Not A Colonizer, I Swear **@dontcallmedaddy**

exhausted by america's rebel phase

Location: in the ocean next to the tea

54 Following 26 Followers

The Opposite Of Binary **@baguettebitch**

gender is fluid and croissants are cronch

Location: une boulangerie-patisserie

156 Following 47 Followers

\----------------------------------

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

tfw ur boyf betrays u

Sponsored By K-Pop **@koreanfriedbitches**

**@freedomandunity** the subtweet is strong with this one

mr steal yo taco **@eatingenchiladas**

**@freedomandunity** **@koreanfriedbitches** oh god what did rus do

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

**@freedomandunity** **@koreanfriedbitches** **@eatingenchiladas** i feel like a dumbass but why are you only mentioning russia?? what about germany???

mr steal yo taco **@eatingenchiladas**

**@freedomandunity** **@koreanfriedbitches** **@treejuice** bc germany is his qpp so like,,, he probably wouldve said qpp instead

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

**@eatingenchiladas @koreanfriedbitches @treejuice** ok can yall let me finish?? Alright so its movie night and we were chillin and cuddling when **@russianroulette** just up and /whooped/ me with a pillow. Naturally this devolved into a pillow fight (1/?)

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

And so this was clearly something I had to win. **@russianroulette** and i just fucking /going to town/ with feathers spraying everywhere. finally **@iamnotbacteria** has enough (2/3)

  
CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

And they just fuckn. just. /have at it./ **@russianroulette** just up and /betrays me/ for **@iamnotbacteria** and fucking gangs up on me. That's why I don't love either of them, in this essay i will- (3/3)

Sammer And Hickle **@probablyjay**

**@freedomandunity** counter offer: love and protect my son or so help me satan your ass will be r a v a g e d to make up for what my son cannot provide.

Not A Communist **@russianroulette**

**@probablyjay @freedomandunity** please stop dad my ace ass may not fuck him but you fucking him is a Strange Image

beer is my only hobby **@iamnotbacteria**

**@freedomandunity @russianroulette** stop fucking tagging me and cuddle

\-------------------

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

my boyf is a tsundere and i loaf him :,)

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

**@treejuice** protective brother mode engage. 

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

**@freedomandunity** oh shush you're dating your previous enemies' children

CAPITALISM IS HOT** @freedomandunity**

**@treejuice** touché

Ana Mae And Hen The **@definitelynotafurry**

**@treejuice @freedomandunity **also who tf??? captured this sweet soft boyo's heart???

nico **@nonbinaryroyalty**

**@definitelynotafurry** read to find out ;)

Ana Mae And Hen The **@definitelynotafurry**

**@nonbinaryroyalty** that was so ominous tf???


	2. north korea "hates everyone" and soviet is a bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> me? posting another chapter of this while simultaneously ignoring my 10 multichapters and NaNoWriMo? it's more likely than you think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> l o n g e r c h a p t e r m e a n s m o r e g a y
> 
> (also more annoying formatting but whatever)

New Twitter:

not russia but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ **@bellenotbeast**

apparently i’m overly sexual even though i’m ace ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Location: bitcharus

45 Followers 62 Following

\-----------------------------------------------------

I Banned The Internet **@probablystephen**

I Hate Everything And Everyone :)

  
  


syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

**@probablystephen** :(

  
  


I Banned The Internet **@probablystephen**

**@treejuice** 나는 갑자기 모든 것을 후회한다

  
  


Sponsored By K-Pop **@koreanfriedbitches**

**@probablystephen @treejuice** 우 차 흘리다

  
  


I Banned The Internet **@probablystephen**

  
  


**@treejuice @koreanfriedbitches** 닥쳐

  
  


Ana Mae And Hen Tye **@definitelynotafurry**

**@koreanfriedbitches** hey 韓国

  
  


Sponsored By K-Pop **@koreanfriedbitches**

**@probablystephen @treejuice @definitelynotafurry** yeah

  
  


Ana Mae And Hen Tye **@definitelynotafurry**

**@probablystephen @treejuice @koreanfriedbitches** I am so glad that you taught me your language

  
  


Sponsored By K-Pop **@koreanfriedbitches**

**@probablystephen @treejuice @definitelynotafurry** ああ、私の神の船 

  
  


Ana Mae And Hen Tye **@definitelynotafurry**

**@probablystephen @treejuice @koreanfriedbitches** ikr!!

  
  


\---------------------------------

  
  


Sammer And Hickle **@probablyjay**

I Have An Important Announcement **@iamnotbacteria**

  
  


beer is my only hobby **@iamnotbacteria**

**@probablyjay** ...w h a t

  
  


Sammer And Hickle **@probablyjay**

**@iamnotbacteria** fuck u and ur dad

  
  


CAPITALISM IS HOT** @freedomandunity**

rt 

  
  


Not A Communist **@russianroulette**

rt 

  
  


Ana Mae And Hen Tye **@definitelynotafurry**

RT

  
  


Mustache Gay™ **@impasta**

RT

  
  


I Hate The Number Two **@fuckrectangles**

BIG FUCKING RT

  
  


beer is my only hobby **@iamnotbacteria**

**@probablyjay** i am just a small creacher,,,, do not harm me,,,,,, :(

  
  


syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

**@probablyjay @iamnotbacteria @freedomandunity @russianroulette** guys their dad may be a piece of shit but y’all can’t bully them for being the devilspawn’s kid. im especially dissappointed in you ame. ur own qpp? (im dissapointed in u too rus but ur not my lil bro so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯)

  
  


CAPITALISM IS HOT** @freedomandunity**

**@probablyjay @iamnotbacteria @treejuice @russianroulette** sorry, germany.

  
  


Not A Communist **@russianroulette**

**@probablyjay @iamnotbacteria @treejuice @freedomandunity** sorry ger <3

  
  


beer is my only hobby** @iamnotbacteria**

**@probablyjay @treejuice @freedomandunity @russianroulette** thx :,)

  
  


\------------------------------------------------------------

untitled negligence **@thevoiceofreason**

b.. boys

152 Likes 34 Retweets

still salty uk **@enterusting**

**@thevoiceofreason** big fucking rt ( **@natoyourbusiness** come join the gays)

a sea of fish and fuckwads **@natoyourbusiness**

**@thevoiceofreason @enterusting** im big soft uwu -///-

Ana Mae And Hen Tye **@definitelynotafurry**

**@natoyourbusiness** hey i'm the only furry round these parts *whips pregnant dragon* yeehaw motherfuckers

a sea of fish and fuckwads **@natoyourbusiness**

**@definitelynotafurry** 1\. contradictory to your @ 2. that was disgustang

Sponsored By K-Pop **@koreanfriedbitches**

**@definitelynotafurry** why do i love you

I Banned The Internet **@probablystephen**  
  
**@koreanfriedbitches** that's ugly and rude towards me and everyone ever

Sponsored By K-Pop** @koreanfriedbitches**

**@probablystephen** *cough*

I Banned The Internet** @probablystephen**

b i t c h

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10 points to whoever can guess the reasoning behind soviet and north korea's @s


	3. ♪and they've got spices♪

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically a musical episode

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was such a bitch to format and link i Hate everything

not russia but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ **@bellenotbeast**

  


hey bitch **@flowercrowngay**

stressed and depressed **@flowercrowngay**

  


**@bellenotbeast** what’s up **@probablyjay**

Sammer And Hickle **@probablyjay**

****   


**@bellenotbeast @flowercrowngay** yknow i’d really like to do that but **@russianroulette**

Not A Communist **@russianroulette**

****   


**@bellenotbeast @flowercrowngay @probablyjay** i don’t have any fucking money **@iamnotbacteria**

beer is my only hobby **@iamnotbacteria**

****   


**@bellenotbeast @flowercrowngay @probablyjay @russianroulette** like, i don’t have any fucking money **@freedomandunity**

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

****   


**@bellenotbeast @flowercrowngay @russianroulette @probablyjay @iamnotbacteria** h e y b i t c h** @treejuice**

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

****   


**@bellenotbeast @flowercrowngay @russianroulette @probablyjay @iamnotbacteria @freedomandunity** do you really really really wanna** @probablystephen**

I Banned The Internet **@probablystephen**

****   


**@bellenotbeast @flowercrowngay @russianroulette @probablyjay @iamnotbacteria @freedomandunity @treejuice** g o h 4 r d **@koreanfriedbitches**

Sponsored By K-Pop **@koreanfriedbitches**

****   


**@bellenotbeast @flowercrowngay @russianroulette @probablyjay @iamnotbacteria @freedomandunity @treejuice @probablystephen** go in the crib steal your stepfather’s credit card **@definitelynotafurry**

Ana Mae And Hen Tye **@definitelynotafurry**

****   


**@bellenotbeast @flowercrowngay @russianroulette @probablyjay @iamnotbacteria @freedomandunity @treejuice @probablystephen @koreanfriedbitches** and take the car do circles in the parking lot **@impasta**

Mustache Gay™ **@impasta**

****   


**@bellenotbeast @flowercrowngay @russianroulette @probablyjay @iamnotbacteria @freedomandunity @treejuice @probablystephen @koreanfriedbitches @definitelynotafurry** SCREAM AT THE TOP OF OUR LUNGS LIKE LALALA **@eatingenchiladas**

mr steal yo taco** @eatingenchiladas**

****   


**@bellenotbeast @flowercrowngay @russianroulette @probablyjay @iamnotbacteria @freedomandunity @treejuice @probablystephen @koreanfriedbitches @definitelynotafurry @impasta** LALALALALALALALALALALALALA **@natoyourbusiness**

a sea of fish and fuckwads **@natoyourbusiness**

****   


**@bellenotbeast @flowercrowngay @russianroulette @probablyjay @iamnotbacteria @freedomandunity @treejuice @probablystephen @koreanfriedbitches @definitelynotafurry @impasta @eatingenchiladas** do it like, do it like, do it like, d-d-d-do it like, do it like, do it like** @thevoiceofreason**

untitled negligence **@thevoiceofreason**

****   


**@bellenotbeast @flowercrowngay @russianroulette @probablyjay @iamnotbacteria @freedomandunity @treejuice @probablystephen @koreanfriedbitches @definitelynotafurry @impasta @eatingenchiladas @natoyourbusiness** let me see you go hard, go hard, go hard **@enterusting**

still salty uk **@enterusting**

****   


**@bellenotbeast @flowercrowngay @russianroulette @probablyjay @iamnotbacteria @freedomandunity @treejuice @probablystephen @koreanfriedbitches @definitelynotafurry @impasta @eatingenchiladas @natoyourbusiness @thevoiceofreason g-g-go hard, go hard, go hard**

****

**not russia but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ @bellenotbeast**

****   


**@flowercrowngay @russianroulette @probablyjay @iamnotbacteria @freedomandunity @treejuice @probablystephen @koreanfriedbitches @definitelynotafurry @impasta @eatingenchiladas @natoyourbusiness @thevoiceofreason** excellent choreography!!

\------------------------------------------------------------------

Sammer And Hickle** @probablyjay**

  


[♪COMMUNISM♪](https://youtu.be/vv8Ect4StmU)

[♪IN THE SOVIET UNION♪](https://youtu.be/vv8Ect4StmU)

[](https://youtu.be/vv8Ect4StmU)

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

**   
**

**@probablyjay** we need to find out which economic system is good and find out which is an evil virus of satan 

Not A Colonizer, I Swear **@dontcallmedaddy**

[♪new arrivals in india♪](https://youtu.be/ivvc53_AzbE)

[ ♪maybe it's those horse people♪ ](https://youtu.be/ivvc53_AzbE)

[♪or their cousins or something♪](https://youtu.be/ivvc53_AzbE)

Sponsored By K-Pop** @koreanfriedbitches**

[♪china is whole again♪](https://youtu.be/uwBPXNUKW7k)

I Banned The Internet **@probablystephen**

[♪then it broke again♪](https://youtu.be/uwBPXNUKW7k)

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

  


dont u just love being loved

Not A Communist** @russianroulette**

  


**@freedomandunity** i dont love you

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

  


**@russianroulette** y e s y o u d o 🔫

Not A Communist **@russianroulette**

  


**@freedomandunity** i- is that a fucking w a t e r p i s t o l

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

**@russianroulette** damn right it is get those hands in the air

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

**@freedomandunity @russianroulette** kinky

Mustache Gay™ **@impasta**

**@treejuice** i thought you were innocent

we all thought you were innocent

\----------------

nico **@nonbinaryroyalty**

_ **♪and they've got spices♪** _


	4. [gaypanic.file]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some sustenance for the gays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was playing volleyball today and got hit by a wave of /g.gorls/ and here we are

not russia but  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ **@bellenotbeast**

..g...

stressed and depressed **@flowercrowngay**

** **

**@bellenotbeast** it's okay, take your time

not russia but  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ **@bellenotbeast**   


** **

**@flowercrowngay** g.. gorls

stressed and depressed **@flowercrowngay**

**@bellenotbeast** rt

Sponsored By K-Pop **@koreanfriedbitches**

** **

**@bellenotbeast @flowercrowngay** rt

the hot one **@flamencofucks**

** **

**@bellenotbeaat @flowercrowngay @koreanfriedbitches** rt

mr steal yo taco **@eatingenchiladas**

** **

**@flamencofucks** :(

the hot one **@flamencofucks**

** **

**@eatingenchiladas** <3

mr steal yo taco **@eatingenchiladas**

** **

**@flamencofucks** <3

\----------------------

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

google search how to sleep when u have a cute boyf lying delicately upon you

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

** **

**@treejuice** the tone change in that one sole tweet gave me whiplash

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

the only results to my search were to a) fuck him or b) cuddle and kiss and since i'm ace we'll go with the second one boys

CAPITALISM IS HOT** @freedomandunity**

** **

**@treejuice @definitelynotafurry** is right next to me and my ears will rupture of she squeals any louder **@koreanfriedbitches** come get ur girl

\--------------

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

** **

**@treejuice** you haven't responded in like 10 minutes

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

**@freedomandunity** he fell asleep and i woke up -???

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

**@treejuice** do u like,,, wanna tell me who you Are or like

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

**@freedomandunity** nah -???

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

** **

**@treejuice** you know What,,,.,,..,,, Fair Enough

\-------------------------

I Hate The Number Two **@fuckrectangles**

tfw you like someone happily in a relationship

stressed and depressed** @flowercrowngay**

rt

Mustache Gay™ **@impasta**

big fucking rt

\---------------------------------------

** chat: two latinos walk into a bar **

** **

** sombrero:  ** ???

** **

**<3: **[gaypanic.file]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i work so hard to give u content,,,, and yet only 1/10 of y'all kudos and only 2 of you commented,,, :(


	5. let's go lesbians

New Twitter

zealous land **@kiwikuwu**

girls.

Location: not being austrialia goddamNIT

346 Following 24 Followers

\---------------

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

im fuckin tired

I Banned The Internet **@probablystephen**

**@treejuice** _attached file:** [yeahnoshithoney.file]**_

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

**@probablystephen** b e t r a y e d

I Banned The Internet **@probablystephen**

**@treejuice** come back to bed

syrup enthusiast** @treejuice**

**@probablystephen** i'm leaving you for snowbaz

I Banned The Internet **@probablystephen**

**@treejuice** isn't your "mystery boyf" enough of a tsundere for you?

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

**@probablystephen** fuck off

\-------------------

zealous land **@kiwikuwu**

I Like Girls And One Girl In Particular

stressed and depressed **@flowercrowngay**

**@kiwikuwu** who??? also give me a Crush Rant™

zealous land **@kiwikuwu**

**@flowercrowngay** her name rhymes with welarus

stressed and depressed **@flowercrowngay**

**@kiwikuwu** n i c e

\-----------------

**chat: siblings -communism**

**beetroot:** umm wtf???

**youcrane:** ikr???

**beetroot:** she likes me??? i have a chance???


	6. short but gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a trio and a couple get together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In fucking tired and more into snowbaz than life and that's why this is short

** flamencofucks created a chat: we need to talk. **

**flamencofucks has added tacos! and impasta to chat: we need to talk.**

**flamencofucks:** we need to talk.

**tacos!:** ??? tf es??

**flamencofucks:** you're fine mexi it's about The Thing

**tacos!:** oh,,,, now?

**flamencofucks:** what other time?

**impasta:** tf are you two talking about? i don't rlly wanna be a third wheel so like.,,.,, hurry up

**tacos!:** so well uh,.,.,.,,,,

**flamencofucks:** you're poly right?

**tacos!:** jfc espa you're /forward/

**impasta:** yeah i am?? why is that important??

**tacos!:** so you see um well uh,.,.,, we both... kinda..........

**flamencofucks:** would you rather i say it mex?

**tacos!:** nah it's okay i can do it

**impasta:** do what???

**tacos!:** we both kinda areinlovewithyouandwantyoutobeinarelationshipwithushaha

**flamencofucks:** babe he can't understand a sentence in a word

**impasta:** uh yeah i can

**tacos!:** shit.

**flamencofucks:** i stand corrected.

**impasta:** jfc it took y'all that long to notice?

**flamencofucks:** notice what

**impasta:** im in love with you two you dense motherfuckers

**impasta:** ive been in love with y'all for like ten years

**tacos!:** oh thank god

\--------------------------

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

does anyone want to explain why **@eatingenchiladas @flamencofucks** and **@impasta** were cuddling and kissing on the sofa when 1. bitch we're the trio that acts all cute and shit and 2. i thought only spain and mexico were together??? what the fuck???

goddamNIT FINALLY **@impasta**

**@freedomandunity** not anymore bitch

\--------------------

**bitcharus has created chat: it's our turn**

**bitcharus has added kiwi to chat: it's our turn**

**bitcharus:** im gay you're gay i like you wanna be my girlfriend

**kiwi:** wow that was uh.,,,,.,., Direct™

**bitcharus:** ame danced around my brother for fifteen years im not about to do the same thing

**kiwi:** I like you too :) <3

**bitcharus:** <3

\------------------

not russia but  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ **@bellenotbeast**

guess who has a gf <3

Not. A. Fucking. Communist.** @russianroulette**

** **

**@bellenotbeast** you better fucking love her @/bel's gf


	7. finally, some good fucking writing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some actual writing boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the less exciting chapter, I've been obsessed with drarry and snowbaz recently but I want to maintain a daily upload schedule

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

tfw ur boyf is the most amazing and lovely person in the world

I Banned The Internet** @probablystephen**

**@treejuice** tfw ur boyf won't get off twitter and go to sleep

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

**@probablystephen** shut ur fuck north your toes are fucking ice

I Banned The Internet **@probablystephen**

**@treejuice** well at least I'm not drinking hot chocolate with fifty billion marshmallows and watching drarry animatics at three in the morning instead of cuddling

syrup enthusiast **@treejuice**

**@probablystephen** then cuddle me on the couch coward

\------------------

Bright, unnatural lights silhouetted Canada's face as he sipped his drink. The sweet hot chocolate scalded his tongue as it went down his throat, but he just winced and took another long, slow sip.

He heard a muted crash, and then the padding of feet and the mumbling of a low voice thick with sleep. A door creaked open, making Canada wince in the near-dead silence of the apartment.

"Cana?" The rough voice calls out. Canada smiled and sipped his drink. Low footsteps padded across the floor and stopped beside him. "Put down your hot chocolate."

Canada looked up at him, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Wha- Why?" He asked, setting his Nightmare Before Christmas mug down on a table next to him.

North doesn't respond and instead practically flops onto Canada's chest, making him grunt. "Fresh scars, remember?" North muttered a soft apology as he sat up. 

Canada pulled him down markedly more gently than his initial attempt to cuddle. "It's okay, baby," he watched North as his lips curled in satisfaction at the sound he made. It was somewhere between a whimper and a purr. He loved it.

North Korea tucked his head in the crook of Canada's neck and tangled his legs with his own. Canada's arms rested heavily on North's back and he hummed in contentment.

\----------------

Sponsored By K-Pop **@koreanfriedbitches**

Did that just happen?** @definitelynotafurry**

Ana Mae And Hen Tye **@definitelynotafurry**

**@koreanfriedbitches** Ajdjsbnaab ikr!!


	8. wow, actual plot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating! here have some plot

CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

**@thevoiceofreason** you know how our accs are private

  
  


untitled negligence **@thevoiceofreason**

**@freedomandunity** ...yes?

  
  


CAPITALISM IS HOT** @freedomandunity**

**@thevoiceofreason** well uh,,,, i want to Make Mine Public

  
  


untitled negligence **@thevoiceofreason**

**@freedomandunity** oh god i knew this day would come

  
  


Sponsored By K-Pop **@koreanfriedbitches**

**@thevoiceofreason** wdym??? you knew that we would want to make our accs public??

  
  


untitled negligence **@thevoiceofreason**

**@freedomandunity @koreanfriedbitches** no, the day thomas sanders is gonna die. no shit south

  
  


untitled negligence **@thevoiceofreason**

**@freedomandunity @koreanfriedbitches** fuck you **@enterusting**

  
  


CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

**@thevoiceofreason @koreanfriedbitches** i mean i get it but why???

  
  


untitled negligence **@thevoiceofreason**

**@freedomandunity @koreanfriedbitches** because he took my fucking phone

  
  


still salty uk **@enterusting**

**@thevoiceofreason @freedomandunity @koreanfriedbitches** because i took his phone

  
  


CAPITALISM IS HOT **@fredomandunity**

**@thevoiceofreason** can i tho???

  
  


untitled negligence **@thevoiceofreason**

**@freedomandunity** we’ll see

  
  


\------------------------

  
  


**@freedomandunity has made their account public**

  
  


CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

thought i had a good economic system, might delete later

**[attached:urmom.file]**

_ **[the file is a video of America sitting on a couch in a dim room. he’s giggling with a hand clapped over his mouth and his eyes are sparkling. the camera is shaky and grows shakier as he stands up. he walks over to Germany, who has their glasses on and is reading a book. America shouts and Germany falls off their chair. Russia, who was sitting on the counter on his phone, bursts out laughing and falls off the counter. Germany gets up and lunges at the camera. America starts running, “oh shit, oh shit-”]** _

  
  


United Nations **@UN**

**@freedomandunity** America.

  
  


CAPITALISM IS HOT **@freedomandunity**

**@UN** uh,,,,, w h a t ?

  
  


a sea of fish and fuckwads **@natoyourbusiness**

**@freedomandunity** you’re fucked

  
  


paladab **@space_virgil**

w h a t t h e f u c k

  
  


\-------------------------------------

  
  


**@UN has made their account public**

United Nations **@UN**

In response to many confused world citizens, a livestream at 5:00 PM Eastern Atlantic Time and a UN summit will be held to answer any questions.


End file.
